Effects of Awards

Proximity effect: Nominees of awards whose winners I enjoy might be enjoyable.

Star Power effect: Multiple award winners/nominees get extra attention.

Hype Hole: Multiple award winners/nominees get written off as over-hyped.

The Perspective Warping effect: This award is so important, it helps mold the form of time and space.

The Forest/Tree Effect: There are so many awards, you can't give a hoot about who wins what.

The Whisper Effect: Rumors and gossip about nominees and awards become more interesting than the awards or even the content of the nominees and winners.

The BrownNose Effect: That work/author was nominated just because it/he/she was so nice to everybody.

The BrownNose Corollary: That person tried so obviously hard to get the award, they must not deserve it.

The We Will Never Get It Effect: The awards are so out of touch with either the popularity or the quality of the work that they are clearly awarded for something other than popularity or quality.

The Thick Glasses Effect: Awards given to works too dense to really understand or enjoy in case they might actually be good.

The High Brow Guilt-Trip Corollary: An award sufficiently esteemed and important as to make all readers feel inadequate for not have read the book already.

The Enough Already Effect: Recipients who receive too many awards have deserving work ignored because they've got too many awards already.

The Embarrassing Fossils Effect: Awards given to bad shit start to smell after a couple of years.

The Walk This Way Effect: Works given an award in one category or contest have a sort of one-up on other contests or categories.

The Bestseller Effect: Works by authors that sell bezillions of copies must be deserving of some award, no matter how undeserving they seem.

The Red Light Effect: I will NEVER read any winner of this award.

The Mirror Mirror Effect: The tendency to hold in high esteem an award that agrees with one's tastes.

The Who's in Charge Here Effect: Causes awards to be given to nominees that weren't or shouldn't have been nominated.

The Green Light Corollary: I will ALWAYS read any winner of this award.

The Pedigree Effect: The fact that a book wins an award doesn’t guarantee it won’t bark.

The Gleeful Greed Effect: The increased market value of one’s already purchased signed first edition by virtue of its having won a coveted award.